Cancelled Vacation

This is something I wrote back at the end of April on the day when we were suppose to be flying out on vacation to Ireland.  Not much has changed since writing it, I’m still sad when I think about it that we didn’t go. I’m still confused, and sometimes unsure of my feelings, regarding Covid19.

We should have been on a flight today. 8:45am departure on April 28^th 2020. It was all booked. It was planned. We had an itinerary worked out for 2.5 weeks of vacation in Ireland. I was going to get to see my best friend walk down the aisle. I was going to get to see people for the first time in nearly 4 years since leaving. I was going to get to show my boyfriend my home country and he was going to get to visit Ireland for the first time. Then it all came to a stop. A pandemic hit. Life ceased to exist to an extent. We all started living in this eradicate Covid bubble.

I both understand and don’t understand what’s going on. I get the flattening of the curve but my emotions remain sad and annoyed that this trip has been cancelled. For many reasons. It wasn’t going to be just a regular vacation. It was going to be special in so many ways. I can’t help to feel sad about that. As I sit here typing, we should have been on the plane for the last 3 hours. Probably watching a movie, or listening to a podcast, or reading a book. Instead I sit here sad, wondering when the time will come that we can re-book. To have all the adventures that we had planned take place. For me to experience Ireland in a way that I have not before, for adventures while showing someone else how beautiful it all really is.

For now I’ll dream about the happiness it will bring when we get to go. I’ll allow myself to be sad for all the things that had to be cancelled. And I’ll wonder how things will be once restrictions are lifted. How people will react. How cautious will we all be. How long before travel and adventures resumes back to normality and we can interact with happiness again.

Until the time comes, I’ll think of more ways to enjoy the Emerald Isle once we get there.

-A